We’ve all heard the horror stories about “Bridezilla,” but what can you do when the one causing the trouble is one of your bridesmaids, or even your maid/matron of honor? Rather than throwing her out of the proceedings or conceding to all of her demands, there is a way to smooth ruffled feathers and keep the relationship intact.
You can head off many bridesmaid snafus by making the right choices to begin with. When selecting who will be in your wedding party, among your friends and family, keep in mind their basic personalities and abilities, as well as their financial means. Review the list of duties required by each member of the wedding party and make sure those you have in mind have the ability and the willingness to perform those functions. The last thing you want to do is strain close relationships during this highly emotional time. If those who are near and dear to you aren’t particularly well-suited to the tasks you have in mind, remember that there are other wedding functions they can perform.
Sometimes, though, it is necessary to include someone in the wedding party who tends to make waves, or cause unforeseen problems. For example, you may have allowed your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses in order to accommodate different tastes, body shapes or budgets, and one bridesmaid chooses a style you find ugly and unacceptable. One way to avoid this problem is to set some ground rules, i.e., length, sleeve style, fabric and color. You can also ask bridesmaids to send you a photo before buying the dress. If it’s already been purchased, see what the others think of it before tactfully approaching the bridesmaid in question – she might reconsider her decision if everyone objects. If she’s dead-set on wearing it, ask yourself if her dress is really a deal breaker. After all, she’s the one wearing the dress!
If one of your bridesmaids has been repeatedly second-guessing your decisions and raising objections, something deeper might be beneath the surface. Try having a heart-to-heart with her about what’s really bothering her. Is she the last single girl in the group and feeling like an old maid? Or perhaps her wedding was small and simple, while you’re planning a lavish event. Try to isolate the problem and sympathize with her worries and fears. Then, help her feel like an important part of your celebration and let her know how much she means to you. She’ll appreciate your thinking of her during this busy time in your life.
In fact, don’t forget to show your appreciation to all of your bridesmaids for their help in making your day special. You might wish to gather them for a special lunch, tea or girls’ night out before the wedding and tell them how grateful you’ve been for their participation. Be sure to thank them repeatedly throughout the planning stage for all that they do, and ultimately thank them with thoughtfully purchased attendant gifts. Never take them for granted-even the difficult ones! In the long run, you’ll be glad you acknowledged their help and participation in your very special day!