We know that there are lots of you looking for gender-neutral vows… it could be that you or your partner (or both of you!) identify as genderqueer or non-binary. It could be that y’all are trans! Or you’re gay or otherwise queer?
Or hell, maybe you’re totally straight, cisgender, and heteronormative but you just don’t want to get getting social constructs about gender tangled up in your wedding ceremony script! That’s cool too. Whatever the reason, we’ve got you… with these beautiful gender-neutral vows for everyone, sourced from our own offbeat community!
Gender-neutral vow #1: I love you for who you are now, and yet to become
(A) I, _____, take you, ______, as you are, loving who you are now and who you are yet to become. I promise to listen to you and learn from you, to support you and accept your support. I will love you and have faith in your love for me, through all our years together and all that life may bring us.
(B) I,______, take you, ______, as you are, loving who you are now and who you are yet to become. I promise to listen to you and learn from you, to support you and accept your support. I will love you and have faith in your love for me, through all our years together and all that life may bring us.
(officiant to A) Do you, _______ take ______ to be your loving friend and partner in marriage, to talk and to listen, to trust and appreciate, to respect and cherish? Do you promise to comfort and strengthen _____ through life’s joys and sorrows? Will you share your hopes and dreams as you build your lives together? Will you strive to build a home that is compassionate to all, full of respect and honor, filled with happiness and love?
And last but not least, do you promise to always be open and honest with ______ and cherish _______ for as long as you both shall live?
(A) I DO
(officiant to B) Do you, _____ take ______ to be your loving friend and partner in marriage, to talk and to listen, to trust and appreciate, to respect and cherish? Do you promise to comfort and strengthen ______ through life’s joys and sorrows? Will you share your hopes and dreams as you build your lives together? Will you strive to build a home that is compassionate to all, full of respect and honor, filled with happiness and love?
And last but not least, do you promise to always be open and honest with _____ and cherish ______ for as long as you both shall live?
(B) I DO
Gender-neutral vow #2: From The Witcher
Vows taken from The Witcher novel series:
Thus do I take you
to have and to hold
for the most wondrous and terrible of times
for the best and the worst of times
by day and by night
in sickness and in health.
For I love you with all of my heart
and swear to love you eternally,
Until death do us part.
They’re close enough to the vows my parents/other traditional people make for everyone to be comfy, with a geeky “easter egg” for those who enjoy the geeky things we do.
Gender-neutral vow #3: SO SAY WE ALL
“A and B have chosen each and every one of you
To be here with them
To witness their Wedding Vows
Because each of you has given something of yourself to their lives.
You are the ones
Who have taught them how to love.
Having planted this seed of love in them,
You have shown them the blessings
That come from loving one another.
As we rejoice in their marriage today,
Let us each consecrate the relationships in our own lives
And rededicate ourselves to these unions we share.
Let us each choose the path
Of loving and caring for one another
And of making these commitments
A priority in our lives.
Each of us knows that a marriage is not created
By a law or a ceremony;
Rather it occurs in the hearts of two human beings.
So, in witnessing this ceremony today,
We are observing only an outward sign of an inward union
That already exists between A and B.
Today, they have come before us
To publicly affirm their love;
To promise to nurture themselves,
Each other, and this union;
And to acknowledge its centrality in their lives.
We are here to see them off on this journey.
Let us also be there to see them through.
As family and friends,
You form the community of support
That surrounds them
Each of you, by your presence here today,
Is being called upon
To uphold them in honoring and loving each other.
Always stand beside them, never between them.
Offer them your love and support,
Not your judgment.
Encourage them with your kindness and loving hearts,
And honor this marriage
Into which they have come to be joined today.
Please affirm your support for this marriage
By responding, “So say we all” to the following question:
As part of the community
That surrounds A and B,
Do you offer your love and support
To strengthen their marriage
And bless this family created by their union?
Audience: So say we all”
Gender-neutral vow #4: I choose you to be my partner in life
I choose you to be my spouse, my partner in life.
I promise you my unconditional love,
my fullest devotion, my most tender care.
Through the pressures of the present
and the uncertainties of the future,
I promise to love you, honor, respect
and cherish you all the days of our lives
You are everything I need
And at this moment I feel that all of
my prayers have been answered.
I know that our love is heaven sent
and I promise to be here forever and always
I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities,
to lend you strength to reach your dreams
I promise to take care of you, to encourage and inspire you,
asking that you be no other than yourself
From this day forward you shall not walk alone
My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home
Gender-neutral vow #5: I vow to listen
I promise to always leave the lights on in the bathroom
I promise to mysteriously take three hours to make a simple omelet
I promise to create a life for us of unexpected and strange adventures
I promise that I will love you
I pledge to listen to your advice, and occasionally take it
I pledge to never take score… even if I’m totally winning
I pledge to always admire your huge, strong, kind and determined heart
I pledge that I will love you
I vow to listen, for as long as it takes for you to feel heard
I vow to watch in awe as you kick ass and take names
I vow to be your unrelenting cheer squad on the days it feels too much
I vow that I will love you
I believe that ‘me time’ is an actual concept, that can be proven by science
I believe that carefully folded socks make you happy
I believe there is no time or place I’m more content than when you’re close
Because of this and so, so much more… I believe that I will always love you
Check out lots more wedding vows for examples and inspiration!