Hi all,

My fiancx and I are getting married next spring. We picked our venue (which will be a destination for effectively all of our guests, as it’s where my family is from but far from where we live) and set our date just before stuff hit the fan with COVID. We moved forward and sent out save the dates when it looked like the curve was actually headed downward, and spring 2021 would be a reasonable time for a wedding. Now, of course, we feel less sure.

We’ve discussed what our plan should be, and we are going to get married on our wedding date, probably at our wedding venue (unless it’s still truly not okay to travel). We fully expect this will mean that some of our guests—even many—may choose not to come. While we’ve decided postponing our wedding or having a small ceremony and a big party later isn’t for us, we don’t want anyone to feel pressured to travel or attend a wedding under the circumstances.

Our invitations will go out sometime in the next month or two—very early for next spring, but our venue needs to have the guest list and lodging assignments by November. Given how uncertain things will likely continue to be, we would like to include an addition to our invitations saying a version of “hey, we get that no one knows what the world will look like in the spring. We’re moving forward and plan to get married regardless, and obviously love you and hope you can join us. We need RSVPs soon, but will totally understand if COVID continues to make travel/gatherings unsafe and you have to change plans.” It feels like a weird thing to say, and I can’t figure out how to frame it.

TL;DR, I need RSVPs for a wedding next spring by November, and want to find a way to acknowledge for my guests that it’s tough to plan that far ahead, even though that’s what we’re doing, and there’ll be no hard feelings if someone RSVPs yes now and feels like they have to say no later. How do I do that? Should I do that? Is any aspect of this irresponsible? Help!

Alright APW, now is the time to drop your thoughts on RSVPs (during COVID) in the comments. We know you’re a smart bunch, let’s help this couple out!



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