Marriage vows are tremendously important to the success of your marriage. Your marriage vows embody the emotional, physical and mental commitment between you and your partner and mustn’t be taken lightly. As you contemplate and research marriage ceremonies and vows remember that it is not so much the words that are important, but the intent behind them. Here are 3 ways to guarantee that your marriage vows support you through a lifetime of married love, passion and romance….
The power of the vow
Marriage is the joining of two separate people in a shared love relationship of mutual support. Most marriages result from feelings of attraction and love and a desire for a permanent union but long-term marriage success requires a true commitment. In traditional marriage vows, the happy couple make promises to each other to the affect that they will care for and support each other through thick and thin. Some modern marriage vows contain too many escape clauses and read like a complex business contract with many stipulated conditions. I advise against weakening your marriage vow in any way. Make a real promise to each other. Acknowledge that there will be difficult times ahead. But make that promise that you will do your utmost to love no matter what. Remember that a vow is something more than a promise. It is of the heart and of your very spirit. A real vow is unbreakable. To break it is to break yourself. Forge your marriage with vows of that strength. And just imagine what it will mean to you and your partner to hear that intention when you speak your vows to each other. It gives tremendous strength to a marriage.
Putting YOU into the vows
Making your marriage vows personal and important to you ensures that you can speak them with feeling and commitment. If using a traditional marriage vow script, make sure you get a copy of it ahead of time and study it. Look at the words together and discuss what they mean to you. Really get into the spirit of the words so that you attain a deeper understanding of what they mean and signify. Contemplate how you will apply these marriage vows in the future and visualise them carrying you through a lifetime of wedded bliss. If you have decided to write your own wedding vows, make sure that you personalise but not trivialise the vows. Think of your wedding vows as a magic spell that require great attention to the ingredients. Make sure your marriage ceremony vows embody the total loving commitment that you are promising each other. And when you come to speak them on your happy day, do so with full awareness of their great significance.
Working your marriage vows
You will discover that happy marriages are built on effort, commitment and love. Being ‘in love’ is largely a result of that inner explosion of feel-good neurochemicals that occurs when two people are attracted to each other. Over time this spontaneous ‘chemistry’ between couples can dilute if left to its own devices. You both have to work at re-stimulating this chemistry. Love starts as an adjective, describing the spontaneous state of Love between you, but it must continue as a verb, as something you both consciously do to and for each other. Remember this when you make your marriage vows to each other. Picture a future in which you both work at loving, cherishing and respecting each other. You will need to get creative and put on your thinking cap to do new things and keep the relationship fresh and exciting. Couples who embrace this responsibility enjoy deep abiding marriages. The initial stages of a romance are indeed wonderful and the love feels so good. But it is nothing compared to the deeper love achieved by a married couple who have loved consciously and given their full attention to each other by working their marriage vows everyday through a lifetime.
How to be married happily ever after…
So many marriages falter and fail. Sometimes it seems like everyone you know has experienced divorce either personally or by proxy. It’s scary contemplating marriage in a world where so many marriages end in divorce and painful separations. What can you do to be different? Researchers interviewed long-term married couples who described themselves as ‘very happily married’. It turns out that this top 1% of couples had unique love strategies and relationship secrets that they used daily to ensure a lifetime of wedded bliss. You now understand the importance of living by your marriage vows and ‘loving’ as something that you do consciously. Why not not make it easier to create a super marriage though? You can learn from these mentors and shortcut your learning curve. Imagine having the collective marriage wisdom of hundreds of couples. These unique marriage-enhancing strategies have been compiled for you in The 50 Secrets to Blissful Relationships.
Now you can be one of those couples whose marriages thrive and go from strength to strength. Or you can leave it to chance and risk becoming another divorce statistic. It makes sense to get the advice of those who are succeeding in love already. The 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships empowers you with the strategies to back up the promises you make in your wedding vows. I’m so happy to wish you a lifetime of wedded bliss and know that you can achieve that. With love.
Copyright 2007 Anne Amore